She pleaded the wind
To take her troubles away
The hurt
The pain
The wind obeyed
When all of it left her
She felt nothing
Not the good
Not the love
Not the pleasure
She beckoned the wind again
Take a deep breath, it said
And there it was
The good and the bad
The grief and the memories
The love and the pain
She felt everything
Everything that made her
And makes her
Uniquely her!
Minimalism. Sustainability. These two words keep doing the rounds in the Internet, thanks to Netflix which put a spotlight on these topics. Not only educational per se but a gentle reminder to embrace the hard-to-find goodness and to stop getting trapped by the distractions that is laid like a minefield around us. How achievable is Minimalism? Does sustainability mean spending your savings on organic, non-gmo, cotton, silk and all things expensive? The answer is Yes and No. All these words are not the ones achieved separately but together, a wholesome lifestyle. Minimalism and Sustainability are a way of life. Nothing otherwise.
Here are a few tips on mastering this conscious way of living;
1.De-clutter:
Often or not, we have things lying around in our apartment and storage, the things that we might not have touched, thought about, know or remember, yet they just lie there gathering dust. It is advised to follow the one-year rule. If for a year, 365 days, you did not happen to touch, admire, remember or thought of the things that are in your house, it is time to say goodbye to those things. An old GPS, CD, clothes, unused hair dryers, cosmetics, shoes and other accessories, furniture, home decor items, kitchen gadgets, small appliances, etc mainly attribute to the clutter. The rule is simple, one of each kind is more than enough to be happy with. If there is not going to be a long lasting relationship with these items, it is better to give it to someone else, who would need it right now and appreciate it.
Begin with categorizing the clutter – the ones that could be sold on eBay, Craigslist; the ones that could be donated to goodwill; the ones that could be re-gifted or given to your dear friends who might appreciate it. Try this. The first time around is difficult but the lifestyle for sure is addictive.
2.Recycle:
Recycle and well. Where do you throw your Shampoo bottle? Your razor? Your makeup boxes? Batteries? If you answered trash to all of the above, you are extremely wrong. It depends on the grade of plastic and sites like earth911.com and recyclenow.com enable one to check on how to recycle varied array of things in your household. For example, throwing a razor blade into metal is a big NO NO. Look up online on ‘Sharps Disposal laws’ in your area. There are disposal banks or disposal drives happening year round so you could feel good about disposing hazardous waste in the most proper way available too. This holds good for alkaline batteries too. Bestbuy has Recycling bins for wires and other gadget related items in their stores. Check your nearest store and talk to a representative on the Recycling guidelines or read up online.
3. Hug a Park:
Adopt a healthy lifestyle by incorporating a lot of outdoor activities in your lifestyle. Visit a Botanical Garden, go hiking, be in one with nature, visit all your local state parks, pick a trail and Keep moving. Watch a bird, river, lake, anything. Just spend as much time as possible outdoors. Keep hydrated, Splash on some sunscreen and go at it. If you are in one of the Northeastern states in the US, it puts a real dent on the amount of Vitamin D that your body could get, considering 6-7 cold months in a year. So, find an active lifestyle that suits you. Visit and enjoy as many local places as possible. Fun is after all Free.
4. Hug a Library:
If you are in the United States, local county libraries are a boon. They have most new books out on their shelves with a few weeks/months of its publishing. I do understand for the most part that by buying a book, you do encourage the author and that sure is important. But, personally, I like to buy books that I would want to read over and over again and libraries are a good place to make that informed decision. They allow you to read as many books as possible and you can make a conscious decision on what books you would like to gift yourself or others. Also, by paying a meagre few cents, you can put a book on hold (in case your book is unavailable in the local library and it has to be sourced from the other branch) and the library goes to extra lengths in sending you a message when the book is ready for pick up. Same holds good for Blu-ray, DVD and audiobooks. Even Game of Thrones on Blu-ray is available 6 months after the season finale on HBO. Just saying.
Also, you could be generous in the donation you make to the library on a yearly basis. For public welfare.
5. Go Green:
Use a compost bin. If you have a green thumb, this should interest you. Compost bins are available in Lowe’s, Home Depot or even Target for a few tens of dollars and all you have to do is put in all your vegetable peels, fruit peels, seeds, basically natural vegetables waste from the kitchen, into the bin and introduce in a couple of earthworms into the bins. It is suggested you keep this bin in the garden or somewhere in a natural place. After a few weeks, your very own 100% wholesome natural manure is ready to be sprinkled in your garden. Check your community guidelines if it allows for compost bins to be used, just to be sure.
6. Wear Responsibly:
As important as it is to know where our food comes from and what we eat, it is important to know what we wear too. The material, the circumstances in which our clothes are stitched, the sustainability of it all. An unexplained rash, inexplicable body odor, scratches, the reason is right there in front of our eyes. It is the clothes that you wear. Rayon is a derivative of Plastic and so are most of the names of fabric that is listed in your fast fashionable clothing tag. Invest on good clothes. There are a couple of designer wear sold by anthropologie.com and jcrew.com that sure are expensive but do also come from a sustainable fashion brand. It might seem good to look good but the most important part is to feel good about what your wear. It is important that you take your time to research and find boutiques, shops, designer labels that pave way for your conscious living. Adopt a local boutique and tell them you care. The more you make it heard, the more artisans would feel confident in realizing their dreams. Help well, live better.
7. Go Natural:
Rose water spritz is a good toner, moisturizer and a deodorant. Coconut oil is a superb moisturizer and makeup remover. Clove is an extraordinary anti-bad breath chew on. And, the list goes on. With the current products in sprawling aisles of a grocery store or a make-up store, it is hard to know what is right and what is wrong for your body. Most products that we use on a daily basis, over a period of time, are either hormone disrupting or result in endocrinological issues in women. Detox is a must on a regular basis or best of all, it is better to go natural. One has to create that demand to make products available to one at ease. Look for kiosks at the Farmer’s market where all natural products are a big hit these days. Or just buy your tub of coconut oil, Vitamin E oil and Rose water from your nearest Trader Joe’s and you must be set on the beauty department for a couple of months.
These 7 things sure are quite easy to adopt and adapt to. After all, this is the uprising of things we had been doing, well, until 20 years ago. The hope is to gather momentum on conscious living, pass on the word to a friend, to the people around us, make the change at a gradual pace to a better future together.
NARS Power Matte lip pigment was launched a couple of days back. Its supposedly for extreme matte lovers and stays perhaps from day to night. The launch happened and I got a mail from Sephora (Insider benefits) on the launch day saying we could exclusively pre-order the shades on sephora.com. Perks galore indeed. There were 24 comments on the site and the product had received a measly 2 stars. That reminds me that i should check it right about now to see if the damage was repaired (Update: All comments duly deleted).
There were comments like “Not Cruelty Free? I hate NARS” and many, many, many comments (gasp) in those lines with one or two 5 star-ers commenting “This is a review about the product and not personal reviews about cruelty or not”. This was a hoot and i ended up gulping my coffee reading this. My personal opinion – The Pigments are particularly awesome. At least on the models at nars.com but my only review for NARS would be to consider Asian Indian skin. I mean have you entered Sephora? We expats rule! Bring them on the subtle colors for the dashing olive skin..Please.
Now now, before you lose patience and think i am boring you with a product review, brace yourself and let’s begin. The problem with anything i see online is dilution of any issue. I am not sure if it happens in a male dominated issue like ….oooh no way I could think of anything worthwhile that they put good use to. Let’s try another angle. Imagine sitting with friends and you say you found a lump somewhere in your body. One says she has it too and the other says her aunt’s cousin’s sister’s betrothed guy’s sister has it and then one asks the betrothed how the wedding plans are and you end up gulping two coffees really wondering what dress to wear to her wedding. See where I am going with this. I would like to understand why women lose perspective when they are talking about something passionate or is it a ploy to only get women’s attention.
Here’s why; Women in America right now must be super pissed with what is happening in the Cosmetics industry. The minute they enter the mall, they should be ready to egg (figuratively) all cosmetics stores barring none. The amount of chemicals they use in lipsticks, nail polishes, foundations, lip balms, perfumes, makeup, shampoos, body lotions and body washes just to name a few products you might be obsessed with, has the capacity to shut your liver down or spike up your hormonal imbalance if you keep reapplying the products 5 times a day for more than 2 years, 24/7. Carcinogens, Pthalates, Parabens, Sulfates, Silicone, Aluminium, Mica, Lead.
Ladies, the reason why you have to sweat it out at work so you could be independent enough to fund for your IVF or fertility issues just boils down to a simple issue – Cosmetics. What brands do you use? How much of it do you use? How long have you been using it? Matters. Cosmetics could even be attributed to weight gain, fat so stubborn that it couldn’t even be melted in boot camps. Its not the trainer’s problem. It is your body’s. Your body has become incapable of processing toxins. Unidentified silent toxins.
I must give a shout out to sephora.com , for they have at least a range of products that do not include Pthalates, Parabens and Sulfates, enabling us to make an informed decision. Still not the best decision since I am not a chemist and don’t know what the other ingredients are for and don’t own a time machine for 2025 to tell me what causes cancer and genetic issues. The point is, the problem with cosmetics does not always have to begin and end with Cruelty. So what if they stop testing on animals and load your cosmetics with parabens?
Dear women, Stop acting as though you are all ambassadors for PETA. You have to be, but, be an advocate for overall goodness. Cruelty matters but heavy chemicals too. What is not good for animals isn’t good for us either. Stop taking sides and stand your ground and fight against the brands that con us all with anorexic and bulimic models and pump our precious skin with chemicals that ends up as heavy toxins our bodies cannot process.
Your anger is real but let us join hands and channel it better. Stop diluting and get some perspective, Please.
I would be lying if I say that I had been this modest kid and a humble adult who preached and practiced Minimalist approach. I was surely the flamboyant one searching for stylish reasons to put a hole in my wallet. Be it Gold or shoes (yes the two things I have a close cosmic connection to) I went, I saw and it would be mine. So, amassing things was never on the top of my head as an issue that needed addressing or intervention. It was my way of life and materialistic things gave me that rush of confidence. An “I can conquer it all” sort of an adrenaline rush. The change happened precisely on a soggy October afternoon when I was packing the things of my dearly beloved brother (May his soul Rest In Peace) and putting them in boxes. It was quite riveting to see that his dear belongings fit in not more than a suitcase (clothes and books excluded). So this gregarious, passionate, wit filled, enthusiastic, whiz kid, loving, deeply caring and philosophical brother of mine who lived life king size, could fit his belongings in just one suitcase. And when it is your loved one, the semi precious things that could be parted become the most horrible thing to do part with in life. No one is worthy of the books he owned, no one is worthy of the brand new clothes he bought for himself and most of all no one is worthy of his recipes. None. So I thought.
Going back to 2014 when we (the husband and I) came back to the US we had to start from the scratch again since we had sold our entire home belongings in 10 days, since we had to leave the country on such short notice. So the next day after we moved into our new apartment, I saw this Estate Sale sign and we are not a fan of all of this. Anything someone else has touched and used must not be used. Period. But this Estate Sale was different because it had balloons tied up with the post everywhere. Yes indeed. The balloons took me to the Estate Sale.
It so happened that the owner of the apartment passed away (God bless his soul) of a certain illness a week ago and they were trying to sell things dirt cheap. “What’s the harm in looking around” ended in $300 spent in cash, buying things. The minute I locked my eyes on a Scrabble 1973 edition, I knew the man had some exquisite taste. Turn around and there was Scrabble Upwords. $1 each. A bronze bookend of Danté and Beatrice was $5 and I was over the moon. I quickly bought most of the furniture, lamp and knick-knacks. Further more gossip was that the old man was divorced and his ex-wife and daughter were selling his stuff off. I could understand bitter marriage and lack of hero figure, perhaps the daughter and ex-wife wanted to build their own memories. Fair enough. But a slight nagging feeling in my heart was ‘why didn’t they see the worth of this? This man had amazing taste in literary and home decor but the family was in such haste to sell it all off just a week after his death. The memories. What would he have thought when he got that as a gift or bought that for himself? Why did the family not seem it fit to keep it for his grand children instead of stuffing their faces with questionable plastic toys? What was all of it worth to them?’.
Dial forward to 2017, another Estate Sale presents itself. This time the lady of the household had passed away (God Bless her soul) and her husband being 91 found it too stressful to handle the matter of Sale. Enter an Antique seller who put up an Estate Sale on the old man’s behalf. Having warmed up after the Sir Danté (upstairs old man), I was certain of one thing. Antiques suited me and they called for me. Wherever I went there they were. A Tiffany lamp gleaming a hello or a tea cup weaving a web of day dreams crazier than Alice’s (Wonderland)!
So, I entered and the house was filled with stuff. Stuff that had been used a lifetime. I could feel the whimsical memories just walking through the room. It was an apartment where the husband and wife perhaps moved when they got too big for a house and just brought with them, a few things they thought made and resembled the best of their memories. A few of the antiques were I am pretty sure either their wedding gift half a century ago or they brought it with them from Germany. All these European gold plated and Silver antiques. I was stunned more than I was surprised. A tea set that was too good to pass was $45 the day before but was slashed way too down to $20 when we went to pick it up. Good for us but again my mind just wandered. And by evening when I was by the trash chute, I couldn’t help but notice all the tea cups, mugs, glasses and vases, all that were in on a huge table of that house was all dumped broken in the recycle bin. I was so gutted. ‘Why wasn’t it given to Goodwill or the Soup Kitchen or even the thrift store. why weren’t the expensive things given as an heirloom? Why wasn’t it donated to an establishment? Perhaps the old man was so heartbroken that he couldn’t even look at them. Just the same way I didn’t want to look at my brother’s phone or expensive watches or any of his collectibles. Why didn’t the Antiques guy donate it? What was it worth to him?’
These two Sale had one thing in common. They died living in an apartment that was filled with the things they held dear to them and only they would understand the sentiments behind it. But, i somehow feel there could be a better system to donate these things. How hard would it be to donate all the books to the nearby library? It’s the sensibility of the matter that means the most to me in tragic cases. Apart from the way these were handled, one thing for sure is the feeling of being blessed that I seek out and find things somewhere that I would be worthy of having and cherishing it in my own dear home. Cherish I most certainly will. It’s the kind of hand-me-downs I love. The human recyclables.
I was just talking to my mother a couple of months ago about how soft the hand-me-downs I used to wear from the former’s cousin used to feel. It’s not at all sulking about the times we couldn’t afford a lot but, celebrating the times when our family stood its unified front. Suddenly hand-me-downs is a singular (multiple hyphenated) word that is so repulsive to people. It instantly hurts their ego and pride at the same time. They either feel way too inferior to receive things or have way too much pride to accept it. ‘Would you be interested in a couple of cardigans that i hardly used since I sized up’ seems to somehow agonize people. Their faces clearly say either ‘What is it about me that told me that I couldn’t afford a sweater. Banana Republic she insists. What a show off’ or ‘How dare you’.
This ego is exactly what the fast fashion and the entire corporate conglomerates want you have. One step to doom. Put your ego on a side and think for real what a close knitted community based on real values that you could build, that which is sustainable and recyclable with minimal waste. As humans, we all have something to compliment each other with, be it materialistic things or intelligence. Compensate it with sharing. With this, one might even think of ending the jealous war and the debt war. One where only sufficiency and sweet memories will prevail. That which is timeless.
What’s all that you own worth to you?
What’s all that you own worth to the person next to you?
What’s all that you own worth to the homeless person you see everyday?
That what’s a drop to you is an Ocean to many. Be the Elixir.
I have a bone to pick with the internet for the complete or rather diminishing wipe out of the human touch. I was fine calling a friend to ask where I could get a specific dessert or ask my mother for a recipe, ask my aunt a tip or two for good housekeeping. Enter Internet. The serious problem I face now is to hold a solid conversation with them for a decent 10 minutes. When I can learn to sew, cook, clean, get tips, advice and more, the only topic am left with is people. It has made me and people around myself extravagant bickerers. The know-it-all attitude prevails amongst all of us. It is not an option anymore to admit to something that you do not know. I mean, how can you not know anything when Wikipedia, google and webmd is begging for you stop. If they had a voice, they’d go “One more word and I’ll call mom”. I wish technology that smart enough. The essence of a civilization is slowly losing its flavor on everyone I know. The point of talking to people was also to make them feel important, gain some knowledge off of their experience and for both the parties to feel ecstatic about each other’s accomplishments and have a lot of fun. Laughs at and about nothing. That sort. Now, Poof! All gone. You have google. I have google. You are brainy so I must be brainy too. You have a good life and I must have it too. Now the comparison is more like having the same HP computer and expecting the command keys to perform different tasks altogether. Human race as I know it is consumed by jealousy. They quite don’t like anything that they work hard and provided for themselves but what the others worked hard and provided for themselves. The solution for this in my mind is so obvious and simple ‘Money can’t buy good taste people’ and yet the know-it-all don’t know it, google doesn’t know it, no one ever talks about it. Wait! for anyone to talk about it, you should ask it and ears don’t listen when consumed with jealousy. Another simple and obvious thing, ‘Money can’t buy good manners too’.
It could seem too far fetched but the truth is we do not seem to need people around us anymore. At least not for making conversations. We need people around us to validate our position in society, to gloat (No gasp please. If you gasped that was so 10 years ago and yes people do gloat at ease these days) and to outsmart each other (Not on the same platform. It could be a discussion about apples and the other says he is fantastic peeling oranges. Not so dumb a topic but it might as well be). I outwardly see a 1-0 going on in even a 10 minute conversation with anyone remotely close or close enough. No closest still. Why bother investing in a person when there’s internet.
With all these muted conversation through messages, I sometimes seriously dread if I could get through a coffee or lunch. Say you are meeting up with someone for coffee and mid way you think of mascara and say, ‘Hey I bought this mascara and it is beyond’. The sane answer I expect from someone am comfortable with is ‘Is it?’, drop the topic and start a new one or if it’s a closest one, she would tell me how beautiful I look in that and how it totally agrees with me. Unnecessary Flattery, but I like it. What else are friends for. Instead, I get to hear either ‘Oh why Elizabeth Arden you should try Gucci. It’s the best’ (I just told you I bought and I love it b*. Respect please) or ‘Was there a sale?’ (Ouch) or ‘You spend too much on a mascara. Revlon just works fine’ (I feel better about my financial status now. Thanks?!?). The irony is, this isn’t 3 different people but 3 different answers from the same person but you don’t know which one will strike and when. It’s like having coffee with a group of women except there’s only one. There is a constant wonderment of which Avatar she might end up taking today. The bitch, the stingy or the sane. This isn’t a joke but people tend to be so flaky these days. If this is the attitude for a mascara, you think I can talk sane about anything else? You would think the extra cash, good taste and adequate knowledge would teach a thing or two to the millennia, about contentment. Yes, contentment. Where ever I turn around, people are insanely unhappy, at all times. Apparently, drawing a 6 figure salary, a mansion, adorable babies is just isn’t enough. But, they would turn around and have valuable advice for a grown woman who voluntarily chose to live a happy and contented life at home and envy her at the same time. It is that complicated dealing with people these days. These robotic people. If only google had the step by step guide for ‘How can I be happy about having everything i ever wanted and more in my life’ or ‘How can I have all the money and be happy’ or ‘Are people who have bare minimum and happy, weird or just normal’ or ‘does Amazon sell happiness and if yes, is it on Prime’. Yes, insanity does breed insane questions.
It’s only normal for anyone to think of others as a mirror of their own soul. Boy, it’s not a pretty picture in the mirror. Well what’s ones soul is theirs but for them to think all the others as jealous and petty as them, that’s where I have a problem. Like they say, ‘Tell me who your friends are, I will tell you who you are’ or something along those lines, this is where I dread about any possible friends. Jealousy as I know it, is a wish to see the other person fail. I for one has been raised exceptionally well with values that didn’t involve comparisons or ‘she got that and why don’t you have that’ parenting techniques that scar you for life and leaves you with no contentment whatsoever and constantly jealous of what others have. In other words, I do not know the alphabets of jealousy let alone speak the language. All we have to learn eventually is the art of contentment which cannot be attained by amassing materialistic things. Technology presents itself with plethora of opportunities where you could let your individuality shine through. Knowledge is power. Power doesn’t bode well in the absence of humility, modesty and absence of listening. And, decency. Remember when they said ‘Do not advice unless solicited’. Knowledge. Power. Listen. Preach. Practice. I would love for everyone to put technology to good use in waking up that creative spirit within one self rather than finding ingenious ways to outshine others which is only detrimental to oneself. While you bask at the warmth of your smartphone screen, find ways to spread some warmth in someone’s heart by talking pleasant things to them. Pleasantries have a long history of working wonders. But it’s like Bath and Body works salesgirl is an expert and everyone is taking notes at ‘Hey how are you doing today? <smile>, turn and <shut the smile>’. There’s no conversation there. It’s like they do not have the patience to hear you say ‘Good. Thanks. How are you today?’. By the time I finish the ‘How’ the smile transforms into a ‘Ok I was being polite. Stop talking now’ smile. The Victorian era is not resting in peace right now.
A short step by step guide for google/bing and all the search engines for the lost souls who one day found the courage to type in ‘Why does everyone hate me’ or ‘Why can’t I be happy’ or ‘why can’t I stop complaining’
1) You are talented and your sole responsibility is to help those who can’t sort it all out themselves.
2) Evaluate your priorities. If money tops it and you have a fat to a super fat balance in your account, take a break. Money has the power to let you take a break too. All it takes is a chance.
3) Drop the ‘I know it all’ attitude. You don’t know everything or anything for that matter and accept that. It is so uplifting. Try it. Try being a dumbo just for a day. Welcome to life.
4) Reduce attachments to material things to the bare minimum. It does sound crazy but the results are proven exemplary.
5) Traveling to exotic locations is a pleasure. If you pull the elastic too hard, there’s never going to be anything or anywhere which will make you happy again.
6) Have a routine for yourself. Just yourself. No one better to know your rhythm as you can. Be you.
7) Drop all the if, but, what if, how, why and all the negativity. If asking this hasn’t turned back time or brought back people from the dead, it’s not worthy at all.
8) Be Compassionate and be there. There is nothing that makes you more in touch with your human form than the compassion and warmth you exude and inspire.
Human touch is the only resolve to all your woes. Drop your typing, pick up the phone and say how much you miss a friend and how wonderful your mother is. Voice, hand writing is as far as you could get with personal touch. Let’s all resolve to save one person at a time. Where else could it start if not at home and with one person at a time.
The purpose of life is the pursuit of happiness. The true happiness from the smallest of things otherwise left unnoticed or understated. It is only human to question the reasoning behind every tear and every heartache but it only makes happiness worthwhile. Look closer and one would find that happiness is the only constant factor in life and trauma or emotional breakdown only tests our perseverance to find happiness. And not the other way round. Stress of any nature is lack of grasp on reality and is as important to shape happiness but it is one thing that we have the grasp of to avoid. The most beautiful people I know and I want to be surrounded with, are the people living with bare necessities and a hint of luxury and they exude happiness. They look so radiant that you want to soak in it. The very things we wanted to achieve in life or admired in the wake of adulthood is to be happy. We wanted to study hard, work harder, to be happy. And suddenly things changed and we lost focus and translated happiness as being rich and to amass wealth for the next few generations to come. The question I always ask (muted) is do we always think our next generation would be incapable of making their own living..or what if they are untouched by our greed and choose to live a simple life, a life stitched with nostalgia (which you failed to provide in your run for money), fun and decent living. Money sure is important with rising prices and taxes, but how much money is good enough for one person. How many zeroes would quench one’s thirst? Would a person who just won a lottery stop buying lottery tickets, forever? My grandparents longed to live in their own house and I seemed to understand their plight since they had lost their ancestral property to their personal misery. Then, one day I started wondering if at all personal property is vital. Is it as important as bread and butter or as important as a fairy tale ending. Being an old soul, am in agreement with the traditional existence in a big house built by your great grandfather altered by generations and modern times. The old wooden furniture, brass holders and accessories, teak and rosewood singing a harmony, wall decorated with antique ‘tanjore’ paintings..typing this makes my heart flutter because this house is what my great grandparents owned and its steeped in my memory so much that if I ever build a house, this would be it. This is what they imbibed as ancestral-lineage-living. A thing that is handed down over generations paid of by the owner from savings and not by a bank loan, that exuded stability of a family and its worth. Simply put, the house was a product of extra lying around cash. The only dignified approach to living large.
Now, much (née everything) has changed. As much as the banks are helpful in lending a hand to the buyers, every young adult is under-the-influence of debt or my grandmother used to call ‘new’ money. I have a good laugh when people complain about the rising home prices or that they are stressed about having multiple loans that actually affect their current everyday lifestyle – isn’t it the grave you had been dreaming of and planning to dig your entire young adulthood. Buying a house is not a dignified matter anymore, it is more of a competition. What has changed so drastically from the times when we were kids that they gave us pencils to draw a house? I could remember they all looked so different from one another, at most times. But now, it is a phase of binge buying. Buy it whatsoever for ‘investment purposes’! Where is the definition of investment when you are in debt?
The alluring part of a traditional ancestry property is the durability of the things in it. It seemed like the best ‘green’ way of life. Now, with the seasonal furnishing and the home decor, one can only be alarmed at the waste that you dump. With seasonal, one tends to buy moderately priced things and to imagine all this ending up at the landfill in a few years is preposterous. I would most definitely want to go back in time to see who programmed us to think of this as a legit way of living and not as an incorrigible way of life. Most honestly put, it’s peer pressure to be in debt for life.
So, why is this even relevant when we are to talk about happiness, one might ask. It is relevant to an extent of preaching a life that plausibly filled with happiness and giggles, which is most definitely not in the current chase of money. Simply put, happiness and money are definitely not synonymous. Happiness is the art of life and state of one’s mind. It is compassion, love and empathy that maketh man and exactly the ones you would remember for life. If it is possible to find true happiness in a home distraught by unforeseen circumstances, it is quite possible to find deeply depressed people in a shining new bungalow worrying about how to pay off the debts. The choice is always in one’s hand.
To be happy or not to be.
Dearest sweet friends of mine,
You can own a house, have several kids and a loving family and I love that you are blessed with all of this. You deserve it. You deserve to be surrounded by loved ones, luxurious things, holidays, parties, surprises, riches and pomp. I wanted these for you and prayed for it. Prayed that you get what you deserve. Unlimited happiness – let that be yours in a heartbeat. This is part of my selfish motive too. The happier you are, the less I would have to console you and otherwise our conversation is legendary goofiness. And, goofiness I like and I want. Life is filled with doubts and uncertainties as it is and I do not want to spend the little time we spend with each other mopping and whining. You are most welcome to tell me how fabulous your life is, and I would listen to it without batting an eyelid. It is in my nature to feel exuberant for everyone near and dear to me. There are times when you ask me why I do not have this or that, why I am not married (when I wasn’t) and why I am not keen on having a baby and I used to be and am baffled as to what the right answer could be. I was neither dodging the prospect of getting married nor am I dodging having a baby. As a friend, I would love for you to take my life as an example and delve into your life and see how lucky you are to have accomplished so much, accomplished what you have always wanted to accomplish. Me? I have accomplished a great lot too, of the things I wanted to accomplish. Now it might seem as the same sentence but cheese and chalk. If I had to accomplish what you wanted to accomplish, that would be competing and I would love for you to rewind our lives, our unique different lives, to see we have never been in competition, ever.
I understand your concern for me. You want me to enjoy the motherhood that you ultimately enjoy. So would I, when I the time is right and when I deserve that happiness. This concern border-lining on obsession is a true ball buster and that translates to the dwindling time we spend with each other. Telling me that my biological clock is ticking and that any more delay would leave me barren is beneath you and I know a better you. What if I had been trying all this while and just cannot get pregnant? As a mother, where is your compassion? To be a friend is to believe in the good of each other. There are a million things on a daily basis that is uncertain and to be certain that I am immature and lack the enthusiasm in the field you are more enthused in, baffles me. I need you not to worry about me or use these enquiries as fillers for your lack of communication with me because of your busy life. The difference happens to be that I understand that your kids keep you busy and appreciate you spending quality time with them. There.
Your ever loving friend,
Harini
